One of the things I’ve been learning in becoming a therapist is how much pressure can gather around a simple question: What do I say next? It is easy to imagine that if you read enough books, learn enough theory, and collect enough good questions, eventually you will become the kind of person who always knows what to say. But luckily, life and the human mind are much less predictable than that. If we always knew exactly what was coming out of our mouths, conversation would be

When the subject of menopause comes up, we usually discuss hot flushes, poor sleep and hormones. Sex gets mentioned too, often because it has become uncomfortable or desire has changed. But what about feeling less attractive? Or pulling away from a partner because you don’t know how to explain what is happening? Menopause can affect how sex feels, your interest in intimacy and your mood.[1] Physical symptoms need medical attention, but I believe the emotional impact deserves

When is the last time you played? And I don’t mean in a structured way, such as through video games or an organized sport, but in a “free play” kind of way — open-ended, with no right or wrong and no specific goal. If you have a specific time in mind, what were you doing? Were you alone or with others? How did it make you feel? Why Play? There is ample evidence showing the benefits of play for children. It is necessary for social emotional development (Piaget, 1951). Play hel

It often starts with something small: a scratchy throat, unusual body aches, or a persistent headache. Then comes the realization that you’re not just feeling off—you’re getting sick. For many of us, that realization is quickly followed by anxiety. Before we even know how sick we are going to be, the mind starts taking inventory. I have work tomorrow. I have a deadline this week. I can’t afford to miss a shift. I have plans I was looking forward to. People are depending on me

Hustle Culture is defined as a push to work harder to get ahead by any means necessary, often at the expense of self-care and the individual’s mental and physical health. Many people see “hustling” as a positive attribute to have. We are often taught that to make it far and be successful, you must work hard. However, there are moments when working hard becomes too much for a person, because they are simply doing too much. Some ways to notice that a person is doing too much ar

When people hear the term EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), they often think of trauma: car accidents, abuse, assault, combat, or other overwhelming experiences. And understandably so. EMDR has a strong evidence base for the treatment of trauma and PTSD. But there is another part of EMDR that deserves more attention: the beliefs we develop about ourselves because of what we have experienced. Sometimes the most painful part of an experience is not only what

The inner critic is a strange kind of bully. It never shows its face, it works entirely from the inside, and its cruelest trick is that it speaks in your voice. When it says you should have done better, it does not sound like an attack. It sounds like a fact you were finally honest enough to admit. That is why so many capable, thoughtful people live under its rule for years without ever naming it. They just call it being realistic. Or having high standards. Or simply “me.” Bu

Imagine a child who does not understand the chaotic world she is growing up in. There are surges of searing red, heavy blue, and repulsive green that make her feel like a small boat braving an ocean. The only safe way for her to move past the surge is to explain it away in her head. Her mind analyses patterns and becomes proficient at explaining the emotions of the adults around her, and her own emotions as well. Now, imagine this child as the part of you that dissects the r

Postpartum Depression is a mental health disorder that has been around for as long as becoming a mother has. However, it wasn't something people talked about for quite some time. Now, it is a topic that has been spoken about more recently with the rise of new mothers speaking out about having mental health struggles after giving birth, along with the rise of unfortunate mental health crises in new mothers. What is Postpartum Depression Postpartum Depression, or PPD, is a me

Kierkegaard was concerned with meaning and fulfillment in human life–what makes life worth living and the barriers we encounter in the search for a genuinely satisfying existence. In his view, meaning is not a pregiven or something that comes about merely by virtue of living; rather it is something we impart into our own lives through the choices we make. Central to Kierkegaard’s philosophy is the notion of the tension between the finite and eternal. As human beings, we find

Our thoughts have a powerful influence on how we experience the world. Two people can go through the same situation and walk away feeling completely different, not necessarily because the event itself was different, but because of the meaning they gave to it. Cognitive restructuring is a therapeutic technique that helps us slow down, examine those meanings, and develop more balanced ways of thinking. Cognitive restructuring is commonly associated with Cognitive Behavioral The

There’s a shared sadness that shows up in August that is reflective of the days getting shorter and the excitement of summer shifting into a calmer fall. For some, it can feel like a quiet heaviness settling in, anticipatory feelings of what to expect with the wintertime. For others, it is grieving the loss of long days and warm outdoor experiences. If you have felt this way, you are not alone. Understanding what exists underneath the grief and melancholy of seasonal transiti

Some of our most difficult patterns can begin with our best qualities. Caring for others, being flexible, and wanting to help are strengths. However, when these qualities become driven by fear or determine our sense of worth, kindness can gradually turn into people-pleasing. Think about Luisa from Encanto. Her strength and dependability are genuine qualities. She cares deeply about her family and takes pride in helping them. However, being helpful gradually becomes an expecta

When someone is experiencing depression, burnout, grief, or prolonged stress, even ordinary activities can feel overwhelming. Getting out of bed, answering a text, preparing a meal, or taking a shower may require more energy than others realize. People may know that an activity could help them feel better, yet still feel unable to begin. This is where behavioral activation can help. Behavioral activation is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that focuses on helping people

One of the most painful parts of grief is not always the loss itself. Sometimes, it is the quiet belief that we are doing it all wrong. Many people grow up unconsciously expecting grief to look linear or similar: shock, sadness, tears, healing, closure. We hear phrases like “time heals,” “stay strong,” or “you need to move on,” and over time, many of us internalize the idea that mourning should follow a predictable path. But grief is rarely that organized. After recently losi

Destigmatizing Suicide and Suicidal Ideation If you or someone you know is dealing with thoughts of suicide, you can call or text 988. As a therapist-in-training, the thing that most scared me about starting to provide counseling to clients was having to discern whether or not a client is suicidal. I was taught how to ask questions and provided with checklists, but getting better at crisis response (in any context) requires real-world practice. I felt nervous every time I w

Some young men grow up without the guidance they deserve. No one showed them how to carry pain without becoming hardened by it. No one taught them how to trust themselves, how to feel safe being vulnerable, or how to love without fear. Instead, they were left alone to interpret the world while still trying to survive it. When a young man has to raise himself emotionally, he often learns to hide confusion behind silence, anger, humor, distance, or self-reliance. He may begin t

For as long as I have been seeing single clients looking for dates and/or relationships, I’ve noticed the struggle for those who exist in two spaces: “traditional” dating apps and casual hookup apps. While I believe we can meet anyone in any space and that does dictate the nature of the relationship, there is typically more immediacy on hookup apps like Grindr, Scruff, or Sniffies (the newest kid on the block). For simplicity in this blog, I’m going to refer to the aforementi

There's a chair in my supervisor's office that I can't sit in while I'm doing my sessions. It's a comfortable chair, the kind that gently sends your body backward the moment you settle into it. My supervisor sits in it during his own sessions. But every time I have a session there, I find myself moving the other chair into place, the one without the deep recline. I noticed something else along the way. In my own sessions, my default posture is forward. Not anxious or perched,

Burnout has become almost normalized in society today. People joke about being exhausted, overwhelmed, emotionally drained – running on caffeine and survival mode like it’s just part of modern life. We praise productivity, overworking, and being “booked and busy,” even when people are quietly unraveling underneath it all. Here’s the truth: burnout is more than just being tired. Burnout usually doesn’t show up all at once. It creeps in slowly. You stop feeling excited about th