The Healing Is in the Return

The Mind Wanders

There’s a moment in meditation that happens to everyone, no matter how experienced they are. You sit down, close your eyes, maybe focus on your breath, a mantra, or just the felt sense of being here. And before you know it, the mind does what it does: it wanders. One minute you’re anchored in stillness, the next you’re mentally answering emails, revisiting last Tuesday’s awkward conversation, or planning what to make for dinner three days from now. It’s impressive, really—how quickly and convincingly the mind builds entire worlds from thin air.

But then, something subtle happens: you notice. You realize you’ve drifted. That you’re no

longer with the breath, the body, the present. And in that moment – however brief – you choose to come back. To return to the anchor. To this moment. To yourself. This, right here, is the essence of the practice. Not staying perfectly focused, not achieving a state of thoughtless serenity, but returning. Again and again. That’s where the healing lives.

So many of us carry an unspoken belief that success in healing, or even in life, means never

faltering – never regressing, never falling off the wagon. But in truth, growth and healing are not linear. They’re rhythmic. Cyclical. Sometimes, they feel like spirals. There’s nothing wrong with getting caught in old patterns. What matters most is how we respond. Can we meet ourselves with curiosity instead of criticism? Can we gently return instead of spiraling into shame?

Emotions Need to Move

In the world of AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), we talk about the transformational power of staying with our emotional experience long enough for it to move. Emotions are meant to flow. But so often we interrupt the wave by numbing, analyzing, distracting, or clamping down. We do this to protect ourselves, and those defenses were likely wise adaptations once. But they can also keep us from experiencing the full arc of our feelings, and the healing that can emerge on the other side.

The Power of Returning

That’s why the return matters so much. Whether it’s returning to your breath, to your body, to your true emotional self, the act of coming back is a reconnection. It’s a reunion with something vital. It’s not just about mindfulness – it’s about repairing the moment of disconnection with a gentle, inner “welcome back.” In that return, there’s a whisper of self trust rebuilding, of safety restoring itself from the inside out.

This noticing – the sacred pause – is powerful. And it doesn’t have to be grand. Sometimes it’s just a breath. A hand on your heart. A moment of grounding before responding. And while it might seem small, these moments accumulate. They form the scaffolding of transformation. You’re teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to return. That you’re still here. That the

present moment, with all its imperfections, is survivable and maybe even nourishing.

Healing as a New Response

In my work with clients, I try to highlight that healing is not the absence of difficulty, but the presence of new responses. We may still get hooked. We may still lose presence. But now, we know how to find our way back. That’s everything. It’s not weakness to return; it’s wisdom. The return is a reclaiming of choice in a world that so often sweeps us away in its current. When you return, you’re not just regulating your mind or body – you’re affirming your own aliveness. So, if you’ve been judging yourself for drifting, for getting stuck, for falling out of practice – pause. Breathe. Notice that you noticed. That in itself is the work. The return, then, isn’t a detour from the path. It is the path. It’s the muscle we build each time we come back to ourselves, a little more gently than before.

And while we’re at it, let’s release the idea that the goal is to be perpetually centered. That’s not human. What’s more real, more tender, is this humble practice of catching ourselves and softening back into the moment. Of remembering that we’re allowed to begin again, again and again.