Reframing Your Thoughts through Writing and Storytelling

When you hear the word “storytelling,” you might think of fairy tales, fables, or ghost stories around a campfire. When we think of stories, we often think about fiction. And, in many ways, our favorite books and movies shape us, especially when we see ourselves reflected in these stories. But we are shaped by the stories we tell (and hear) about ourselves, too. Storytelling can be a valuable tool in reframing self-perceptions. Narrative therapy is an approach that helps people change their relationship with their problems by re-writing the dominant stories of their lives. It is non-blaming and centers people as the experts of their own lives; from this perspective, problems and people are distinct. People experience problems, but their identities are separate from them.

The way we frame stories can impact confidence, self-efficacy, and sometimes even identity.

Here’s an example: Imagine you have a friend training for their first marathon. They’ve worked hard for a year to prepare, going to the gym four times a week and going on long runs every weekend. A month before their big race, they ran a full 26.2 miles for the first time. Then, two weeks before their race, they trip while running down a hill and injure their leg. It will take weeks to heal. They can no longer run the race they’ve been training for. When recounting this story to you, your friend might focus on the injury and how it prevented them from achieving their biggest goal. They might describe the injury as a problem they caused and, ultimately, see themselves as a failure and give up on trying to run a future marathon.

This views the problem as part of the person and contributes to a more negative self-image.

Alternatively, they might focus on the hard work they put in and the marathon distance they ran, even if it wasn’t an official race. They might see their injury as an unfortunate accident along the way to bigger things. They might see themselves as a success and be motivated to try again next year. By framing the story this way, the problem is externalized–it is a problem, not an individual failure.

Externalizing problems is a key component of narrative therapy, and it can be powerful. Essentially, by separating something, like an injury, from our core self, it offers a different way to explore it. For me, writing has always been a way to explore my experiences and to get overwhelming emotions “out” by scribbling them on a page. I find that writing gives me distance from difficult feelings in the moment and allows me to return to those feelings when I’m ready.

Practicing Storytelling through Writing

In addition to allowing you some distance from a difficult idea, writing is also a great way to

consciously practice telling more positive stories. You could start with a small story about a recent setback, choosing new details to focus on each time. Even journaling about your day could be helpful.

Journaling is one of the easiest ways to get started with writing. The only barrier to entry is needing a notebook and pen. Or, your phone’s notepad app will do just fine. Journaling looks different for everyone, but regular journaling is a common practice to improve mindfulness, track emotions, express gratitude, or simply get feelings out. Journaling for you might mean making objective notes of events throughout your day that you can reflect on. How might you tell a story about those events? Some people like to keep a gratitude journal, noting small acts of kindness or journaling about people they are grateful to have in their lives. How might the people we love tell a story about us?

Another way to explore writing is through poetry. There is no wrong way to write a poem. To practice storytelling through poetry, jot down images and sensory details, and see where it takes you. Think about all the different details you can notice. I have been writing since I was in middle school. I’ve stopped writing at many points since, but I always return to it.

Eventually, I know I will keep writing. The story I used to tell myself was that I wasn’t a “real” writer because I didn’t write every day–not even close. But this is an attitude I often heard from teachers, professors, and other writers. To be a writer, you must write. To them, the act of putting words on the page was what mattered. I bought into this story, a story written by someone else, for a long time. Eventually, I decided to re-write my story. I believe being a writer is about searching for meaning, whether you write fifty words a month or 5,000.

For many, even taking ten uninterrupted minutes a day to write can be a challenge. Children, chores, commuting can all get in the way. So, starting small is one way to begin thinking about storytelling possibilities.

References

Morgan, A. (2000). What is narrative therapy? An easy-to-read introduction. Dulwich Centre

Publications.

Sohal, M., Singh, P., Dhillon, B. S., & Gill, H. S. (2022). Efficacy of journaling in the management of mental illness: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Family medicine and community health, 10(1), e001154. https://doi.org/10.1136/fmch-2021-001154

White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. W. W. Norton & Company.