A Gentler Way to Begin the New Year

Often, January arrives with a familiar message: reset, recommit, improve. We’re

encouraged to re-evaluate our lives, set goals, and show up differently in the new year. That

impulse can be meaningful and motivating. I do believe reflection and intention-setting are

valuable practices. However, I think it’s also important to remember this: we are allowed to

reassess and change course at any point in our lives, not just in January. Growth doesn’t require a calendar reset, and it certainly doesn’t require pushing ourselves harder simply because we have entered a new year.

From a mental health perspective, rest is often the missing piece in how we approach new beginnings. Too frequently, rest is treated as a reward - something earned after productivity,

achievement, or exhaustion. In reality, rest is a boundary. One that protects our nervous system, our energy, and our ability to sustain meaningful change.

Why Rest Feels So Hard to Claim

Many of us, including myself, learned early that rest comes after effort. After the deadline. After the performance. After everything is handled and everyone else is taken care of. This belief is especially common among over-functioners, people pleasers, and perfectionists -

people who are deeply capable, responsible, and accustomed to holding a lot - saying yes to everything when we likely need to say no.

But even just thinking about our need to rest often brings feelings of guilt, anxiety, or fear of falling behind. January can intensify this, as pressure mounts to set ambitious goals or gain momentum right away, but the nervous system doesn’t operate on willpower alone. Sustainable change requires regulation and balance- and it looks different for everyone.

Rest as a Boundary

Boundaries are not walls. Think of them as structures that support health and longevity.

When rest is a boundary, it is no longer dependent on how much we’ve accomplished. It

becomes something we protect intentionally - even when it feels uncomfortable.

Rest as a boundary might look like:

● scheduling downtime before burnout hits

● speaking up and saying no to commitments that drain more than they give

● allowing recovery without justification

● honoring limits even when others don’t

This is especially important at the start of the year, when many nervous systems are still

recovering from the emotional, social, and financial strain of the holidays.

A Personal Note on Imperfection

This reframe has been challenging for me personally. As someone who tends toward

over-functioning and perfectionism, giving myself permission to show up imperfectly has been deeply uncomfortable. As a performer I’m used to always being “on” - being capable, prepared, and dependable - rest and letting go can feel risky. There have been times when slowing down or loosening my grip had consequences. Things didn’t go exactly as planned. I felt discomfort and the pull to return to old patterns.

But each experience taught me something essential: finding my own personal balance and executing boundaries for myself isn’t fixed - it’s learned over time. Rest doesn’t mean disengaging from responsibility. It means refocusing, recalibrating, and finding a rhythm as best we can in challenging moments of life that actually supports long-term well-being and balanced productivity.

Rethinking New Year Intentions

Instead of asking, What do I need to achieve this year? it can be helpful to zoom out and ask:

● What do I want my life to look like in three to five years?

● What pace is sustainable for me now?

● What needs protecting in this season of my life?

There’s a quote I love that captures this well, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year, and underestimate what they can do in ten years” -Bill Gates. When we orient ourselves toward longer timelines, urgency softens. Rest becomes part of the strategy, not a setback.

Closing Reflection

It’s good to slow down and remember, growth takes time, and change doesn’t have to begin on January 1st. Rest is not the opposite of ambition. It’s essential, and it’s the boundary that allows ambition to evolve without costing us our mental health.

This year - and at any point

you choose - rest, refocus, and remember that sustainable change unfolds over time.

If this resonates, you’re not alone. Learning to rest, set boundaries, and move away from over-functioning is a process. Therapy can offer a supportive space to explore these patterns and create a pace that truly supports your well-being. If you’re curious about working together, I invite you to reach out.