Some of our most difficult patterns can begin with our best qualities. Caring for others, being flexible, and wanting to help are strengths. However, when these qualities become driven by fear or determine our sense of worth, kindness can gradually turn into people-pleasing. Think about Luisa from Encanto. Her strength and dependability are genuine qualities. She cares deeply about her family and takes pride in helping them. However, being helpful gradually becomes an expectation rather than...

One of the most painful parts of grief is not always the loss itself. Sometimes, it is the quiet belief that we are doing it all wrong. Many people grow up unconsciously expecting grief to look linear or similar: shock, sadness, tears, healing, closure. We hear phrases like “time heals,” “stay strong,” or “you need to move on,” and over time, many of us internalize the idea that mourning should follow a predictable path. But grief is rarely that organized. After recently losing my own father,...

Have you ever caught yourself thinking about a therapist family member like: “He can’t even read the room, how is he a therapist?” “Is that really how he helps other people?” “I can’t imagine my therapist acting that way.” If so, you’re not the only one. These thoughts don’t usually come from nowhere. Sometimes they come from frustration. Sometimes from hurt. And sometimes from a quiet belief we carry without realizing it, that therapists are supposed to be especially self-aware,...